GAMA BOMB

An Open Letter to Paul McGuinness (and everyone else)

2010-08-27T06:56:00.000-07:00

U2’s manager Paul McGuinness’ recent article (‘How to save the music industry’ for GQ) is well-reasoned, well-informed and commendable in its aims – though it’s crazily short-sighted.
It falls at the last hurdle when envisioning future solutions to the problems file sharing causes for the music industry, and is filled with logical blind-spots on the current state of the business.
He’s got the numbers right, but the headspace is all wrong.
To his credit Mr McGuinness is here wading into an argument that, as he notes, often involves untold abuse for those willing to stick their oar in. Furthermore, it’s one that doesn’t affect his untouchably profitable bread-and-butter, U2.
So who am I to gainsay him?
Last year my band Gama Bomb released their third album free of cost as a download with the permission of our record company, Earache Records. This, to my knowledge, makes us the first signed band ever to do so.
We took this step because we personally consume music in this way and were aware our previous albums were largely being consumed as shared files. To release another CD in the traditional way seemed futile.
Also, as a band playing a niche form of music on a small budget, we were aware of the potential PR power of such a move. The label agreed, we did it, and that’s why I feel qualified to dust off my soap box on this one.

To keep this sweet, Mr McGuinness’ argument can be summarised in five points:

1. The ‘problem’ of ‘free’ content is the biggest issue facing the music industry
2. ISPs are profiting from widening bandwidth associated with filesharing
3. this has caused the music industry’s profit shrink, therefore
4. tackling the ISPs is the key to saving the music industry
5. To this end, governments should legislate to make ISPs punish consumers who infringe copyright, encouraging them to use legal, paid, approved means of consuming music.

Two things stunned me as I read the article. First was Paul’s own emphasis on the negative nature of prosecuting consumers for file sharing, though the ‘graduated response’ or ‘three strikes’ legislation he champions offers no less a persecution to the very people artists rely on.
Second was this quotation.
“In recent years the music business has tried to "fight free with free," seeking revenues from advertising, merchandising, sponsorship...these efforts have achieved little success.”
This is rather brash given that 360 degree contracts (where labels share in merch, licensing, royalties and live performance fees) have been common currency in the industry for more than 10 years, with all the majors buying over merchandise production companies in order to best profit from their bands’ deals. It seems his own industry are quite keen on it.
It’s also startling because U2 signed a 12-year deal with Live Nation in 2008, giving control of the band’s merchandise and web presence to the concert promoter in sure recognition of those being vital cogs in the machine. And as for the rest? The band famously synergised corporate sponsorship and high-end merchandising in the form of the U2 iPod in 2004. Textbook new-industry pathfinding.
But Paul skips over these new revenue streams like they’re a footnote, when they are in fact the lifelines of the music industry right now.
His band signing to a concert promoter and Lady Gaga hawking Wonder Bread in her videos is a sure indication of their worth.
Mr McGuinness sees the new anti-file sharing legislation as ensuring the future of the music industry, though he admits the labels will have to adapt to the new digital age yet.
I think he’s dreaming. I think he’ll be looking to a new, final hope in six months time, and another six months after that.
The only way to fix things is to sweep the decks clean, overturn the idea of file sharing as ‘theft’ and rethink how to profit from it. Industries world wide have done this time and again in the face of social and technological advancements.
There came a day when the log roller guy had to start making wheels, right?

If Paul’s argument has five points, maybe it’d be neat for me to present five of my own in counter.

1. It is impossible to police the internet effectively.
2. Technology savvy evaders of new legislation will simplify technology to allow access to those below them. This is a constant stream. File sharing can’t be stopped.
3. The old model of record labels being the only career-former for bands is obsolete. Brian Message’s proposed Polyphonic label is a good example of alternatives.
4. Endorsing the idea of free content is the route to profit, creating a ‘goodwill’ industry.
5. Usenet groups currently charge users around £18 per month to download unlimited material. This is the best model for the future, with corporate tie-ins and advertising monetizing the interactive space in which people will swap material.

I’m not here to call Paul McGuinness a hypocrite or an old-guard bulldog or anything of the sort. On the contrary, I want to praise his passion for rock music and ask him to get on side with championing free content and encouraging the music industry to re-tool to take advantage of it. That’s a big leap, and may feel like an irrational one since that way lies the death of all that built the towers of the rock and roll biz in the past – but it has to be done.
The coming war between the labels and the ISPs is where this new approach will be forged, though I believe punishing the consumer for being ahead of the curve is simply wrong.
As Mr McGuinness suggests, the great minds behind Facebook, Google and Apple - and yes, behind the rock colossus that is U2 - will need to cooperate to establish the future of the music industry. But that future will not lie in restricting content, throttling bandwidth, or playing an exhausting eternal game whack-a-mole with non-conforming websites.
By the way, when my band released their third album for free last year, we managed to sell an equal number of physical CDs as we did the prior album when it finally hit shelves. Not a spectacular result, but an interesting one.
More importantly, we’ve seen a groundswell in our fanbase and now get paid more for playing gigs and sell more merchandise than before. On the balance I think we won out, because we gave people what they wanted; a quality album and a bit of credit.
File sharing works for indie bands. And as for the big boys? Let’s look at the case in point. Bono’s back notwithstanding, U2 are bigger than ever, making over 130 million dollars in the last year, much of it from touring.
The freely distributed album is the path to record tour profits, as the industry knows well, as well as they know consumers’ money is still there - it's just being exchanged for different services. What Paul needs to tell the labels is, if you're not willing to change the column titles on your spreadsheet, you don't deserve to be in business.

There are not enough fingers to stick in this dyke Mr McGuinness. Isn’t it better to just let the levee break and become the richest swimsuit salesman in town?

Get in touch,

Philip

Our Stupidly Class Ideas Part II

2010-02-10T09:26:00.000-08:00

'Jetzt mit mehr Scheißegespräch! Und Philly!'

We Respect You

Joe: It's funny: you'd think we would have got Ronny Cox out of our systems after OCP, but no. His coolness is too great.

Lyrically this was kind of an opportunity to talk about people we totally respect and love who aren't necessarily your usual GB subject matter.

Steve Gutenberg or Michael J Fox, for example. Can't really write a song about Police Academy, can we?

By the way Domo's amazing line of vocals is: "Peter Falk can walk the walk, he talks it like it is."
Musically, this came form more of a Slayer vein I think. The stabs at the start and post solo are very "So Far, So Good, So What?"-ish, with the winding lead lick running up the neck.
PS. Singing about Michael Biehn is cool.

Apocalypse 1997

Philly:
I’m a huge fan of George Orwell, and of course that comes with Nineteen Eighty-Four, which inspired this track.

I’m actually in such awe of that book that I think we’re not worthy to directly write a song about it (and besides, other thrash bands have tried and made a pig’s ear of it), so I took half the ideas from it and shoveled it into an alternate reality of our own.
It’s a retro-futurist story, set in 1997, which is a year that often cropped up in science fiction (Terminator, Escape from New York et al) as a year of cataclysmic importance. So it’s in our past, but it’s also the future. It’s about mind control, behaviour control and how humans have forgotten how to interact normally. Then of course you’ve got the ‘breaking away’ vibe going too.
The chorus references I, Robot by Isaac Asimov. Escape from New York, Tim Burton’s Batman (Shoot to kill / you know what I mean?) and even Mr. Burns’ ‘Unleash the hounds’ are in there, too.
Joe:
Scott kept asking us where all the break down/ mosh riffs were on the album, as he felt we were kinda short on them. I personally think we have loads, and am always wary of adding things to the songs for the sake of it. Scott is a great producer, but when you start changing your songs for anyone, be it labels or producers, then you're admitting that your ideas aren't good enough.

Return To Blood Castle

Philly:
The title came to Paul on the toilet one day, and the idea behind it was to make a sequel song to Steel Teeth (The Metal Jaw) off our first album.
It’s about a gang of peasants doing the classic ‘let’s go get the monster’ scenario on Steel Teeth, a posh cannibal who terrorises their presumably Romanian-looking village. It’s quite a gory little penny dreadful, this one.

They shave his head and burn him to death, which is nice.
We normally hate the idea of sequel songs because they’re generally so flimsy, and it’s because we hate them and laugh at them that we wrote and recorded one. The irony is getting out of hand over here.
Joe:
Like Philly said, this song is a sequel of sorts to a song from Survival of the Fastest, and musically I think it sounds like it. A bit slower than usual and more hooky. The chorus originally had a cool lead lick on top of it that got ditched in the mix. It's kind of weird, when we play songs from SOTF or similar sounding stuff it live, the crowd takes a break from the moshing.

I don't know if it's because they're tired or if they are addicted to speed. Probably the latter.

Polterghost

Joe:
This ended up being a very fitting tribute to Zelda Rubinstein (who played the medium in the film) as she died around the same date as the album was released.
I think we really flexed our riffing muscles on this one, it's speedy as fuck but also quite technical.

One of Domo's requests for this LP was for a more varied approach to solo backing, so I really went to town here trying to expand it out as much as you can in a 2 minute song.

There's quite a different feel to the lead guitar work on Tales. I think Domo was consciously trying to slow things down a tad, and you can really hear the Gary Moore in there, which you don't hear to often in new thrash.

Skeletron

Philly: I woke up one morning and swung my legs out of bed, and as my feet touched the floor the word ‘Skele-tron’ popped ready-made into my head. It was just such a cool name for a song. I did a bit of googling and saw that, of course, it had already been used as the name for a Marvel Comics side-character from their Secret Wars storyline. As if we cared.
Basically, it’s a song about the future repercussions of our societies’ internet addiction. We talk crap all day, inflate ourselves to heroic proportions, fight petty imaginary battles and make invisible friends, but in the real world we’ve achieved nothing.

It’s about all that stuff. This song really came together at the last minute, as we were pretty worried it was over-long and ungainly, but the outro with the robot voice actually saved it in the end, at least for me. It’s great fun.
Joe: The end of this song is the second B.O.C reference on tales. Check out the end of their song black blade to see what I mean.

Mummy Invasion

Joe:
Man, 'Drop your Choc Dip as you look outside' is my favorite line on the album. A Choc Dip, as you may know, is a shitty snack treat here in the UK. The idea of eating one in the morning is hilarious.

During the vocal recordings, Scott kept saying "Outside is amazing!" every time Philly went over that verse.
Much scoffing about being homeless ensued.
Another totally collaborative songwriting effort, kind of pinpoints where we are creatively at the moment as it was the last song written for the album.

Old school riffing, a real punky chorus and a feeling of total urgency. I don't think the intro riff makes it live though, it seems too laborious compared to the rest of the song. It's kinda like the start of atomizer.

Our Stupidly Class Ideas

2010-02-05T11:07:00.000-08:00

Yo brain slugs!

Since we've got some time off in between tours, I thought i'd give you creeps the low down on the inspirations behind the songs from our new album, Tales...

Slam Anthem

This one is kind of typical of how we come up with subject matter for our tunes. I think we were on the Overkill tour when we first talked about this idea.

Philly was reading a book of short stories by a guy called Graham Greene and one of the stories ,the destructors was about a bunch of kids with hammers who destroy an old guy's house for fun. Cool. We thought it was a wicked idea, and lent itself to metal pretty easily. Sort of trying to write a more out-and-out, hard rock song in a thrash/speed trapping I guess. The title comes courtesy of Phil Lynott, who was gona use this or Fatalistic Attitude as the name of his post-Lizzy solo band, who he eventually called Grand Slam. Cheers Philo!

New Eliminators of Atlantis B.C.

One of the latter songs to be written for Tales. It kinda came together over the course of 2 days before a full weekend of jamming at our H.Q in Newry. The influence for this one comes from two very 'Joe' subjects: the B.O.C and Lucio Fulci's later, more nonsense-orientated films.
There are actually a a couple of Blue Oyster Cult references on Tales, but this song is specifically a kind of lyrical homage to The Golden Age Of Leather off their 1978 album "Spectres".

We liked the idea of writing a epic si-fi story but in a kind of cheap European way. Again title is a kind of our take on a crap movie. This time the fighting centurions AKA:
2072 Fighting Centurions, Warriors of the Year 2072, Rome 2072, Rome 2033-Fighting Centurions, Rome 2033, Roma Ano 2072 D.C.-Los Gladiadores

Three Witches

This was a really great full band writing effort. Everybody had a riff for this one. Philly's vocals are kind of stand out here. Very Bobby Blitz indeed! The concept for this had been about for ages by the time we wrote this song. It started out as "The Third Age of Witches" a few years ago, and then turned into more of a Susperia themed song, eventually morphing into a great E.C style tale about the legendary Shakespearean 3 sisters. One of my personal faves to play live, Paul's rolls at the end are ace!

Last Ninjas Unite

Me and Paul demo'd this one in early 'o9. It was one of the songs (along with polterghost and skeletron) first demoed for the album. Speed was really the main ingredient here, fast single pedal drumming really gives the song an ultra-fast feel.
The Lyrics for Ninjas are really Domo's baby. He just turned up one day with the complete lyrics. Such a great idea for a song, being massive fans of cheep kung-fu (nearly) everyone jumped behind it. It's kind of hard to hear in the mix, but Scott put some wicked karate chop F/X at the start of each verse. Whoa!

Escape From Scarecrow Mountain

Oddly enough this was a song that everybody was kind of worried about going in to record the album. It had been about since the time Citizen Brain was recorded for earache and kind of went thru several arrangements over the year and never felt finished going into the studio.

The plan was to have bass and drums in the break before the chorus,but me and paul never got round to writing anything. Paul did some fills over the breaks and, while recording my bass tracks I kind of realised it would sound way cooler just to have the kit on its own, with out what ever shitty scale I was trying (and bottling) to do on top of it.

Credit really has to go to Philly here. The lyrics totally saved this one, and his ad-libs on the drum breaks are really cool. He obviously had all the lyrics worked out in his head and knew the song would be good, the whole while we were saying to him "What are we gonna do? This song sucks!"

Mussolini Mosh

Every album we try and write something a bit more rant-ish. Not because we feel we have to, but just because there's loads of shite stuff to give off about.

I think Luke (who wrote the song) was showing us the B.N.P members' list around this time, and we were just checking out the spread of nazis in our local area.

This is the kind of song I hope becomes dated, so in 20 years people will be asking "Who the hell are the BNP?"

More next week.

Joe

Tales from the Grave in Space to be released as FREE download, worldwide - November 5th

2009-09-08T07:59:00.000-07:00

We're pretty happy to announce that this November 5th we're going to be giving our third album, Tales from the Grave in Space, away for free through Earache Records.

On the day you'll be able to visit www.earache.com/gamabomb and download all the album tracks, as well as the cover art by Jeff Jordan, for nothing.

Here's a video of Philly looking hung over at the Science Museum, trying to explain the idea:

See you on November 5th.

GAMA BOMB

Three Witches

2009-08-31T03:12:00.000-07:00

The world is yours, we guarantee

You'll share in immortality

Give your eyes so we might see

Sacrifice for witches three

November 5th.

Philly

Album Title And Release Date Revealed

2009-08-19T03:48:00.000-07:00

Teaser art by Rory McGuigan

Here's some news: our forthcoming third album will be titled Tales from the Grave in Space and will be released on November 5th through Earache Records.

The album's signature art will be a painting by surrealist artist and The Mars Volta collaborator Jeff Jordan, who we've been talking to about this kinda thing and this. He's an excellent picture-wizard and we're very excited to have him on board. We reckon his art will surprise even us with its off-the-wall brilliance.

Philly

GAMA BOMB - Faster Is Gooder

'serial killer kills people, serial killer is executed, serial killer's ashes end up in cookie dough, serial killing cookie man runs amok'

2009-08-11T02:17:00.000-07:00

Best film ever?

We respect you, Gary Busey

Philly

This + Us = Third Album

2009-07-23T06:28:00.000-07:00

Some of these things we've written songs about, some of which will appear on our next album this autumn. Others are just mad stuff we're just inspired by. Take a look and get the chills, boils and ghouls...

Russian Mystery

Un-living effigy from the hills

Philly

N.W.O.I.R.M

2009-06-09T05:07:00.000-07:00

Most of you guys know that we are forging a new LP this year.More faster and more about less stuff.Deal? Good. so over the next few months we will be updating this page with some stuff,lyrics, links and general cool things.We will be recording is September for a late 2009 release followed by our most ambitious live campaign so far.Gigantic plans are afoot.Hop in on the ground floor.

To start the ball rolling here's some cryptic lyrical selections....

"they were here once before, (the village people) got no satisfaction,

ruling with a steel jaw, brain wine concoction, (serious beatings)"

and

"Unable to bend their arms Due to the pole down their jumper They mean to do us harm

Pogo-ing, fire-breathing thunder Expressionless bag-heads Stubbing out fag-ends

Laughing with voices made of straw"

polterghost live in Milton Keynes

skeletron live in Milton Keynes

stay hard!

Best Movie Posters Ever

2009-06-03T02:31:00.000-07:00

If you don't think these are the finest movie posters ever, we will fight you. And that's no lie.

First, 1985's wonderful Trancers: a film that desperately tries to combine Blade Runner with Terminator and Life Force and Time Cop. Ahead of its time.

And now, 1986's Eliminators: a movie I recalled seeing as a kid and being freaked out by the bad guy, who transforms himself into a sort of robot throughout the film - though we should be grateful this film gave the world the word 'Mandroid'.

Philly

loooook at meee teacher..........

2009-03-25T06:17:00.000-07:00

Our mates in Dr.death (who have no connection to SALEMS LOT or the above title)have kindly said "hey give our crap ep away on your blog, ill give you a fiver".So with £5 safely in my pay pal account i can now endorse this "great" band.In all seriousness, if your in to tears for fears or helstar check these guys out, they tread a fine line between "songs from the big chair" and "Nosferatu":

Doctor Death – Boobzilla Weapons Of Mass Distraction EP (2007)

Brutally fast, highly melodic, screaming falsetto, filthy UK Thrash - Speed Metal Attack!

Originally released in 2007 as a limited run of 30 Toxic Green Cassette Tapes, and About 100 CDs – now available completely for free download!

Rar file includes Front Cover and Lyrics.

Megaupload

Zshare

Rapidshare

Inglourious Basterds Trailer

2009-02-13T03:30:00.001-08:00

Quentin Tarantino's new movie about killing Nazis is coming out this year, and there's no part of that we don't like the sound of. Watch the trailer HERE and let us know how you'd prefer to top a Nazi: with a hammer, a bit of string or a bucket of mayonnaise?

Philly

... OF THE DEAD trailer

2009-01-06T02:23:00.000-08:00

See ya later, crappy first person camera, hello good plot-lines. Check THIS the fuck out, the new George A Romero zombie movie trailer, it's well, and so forth.

Joe

Gianni Rossi: Ferrari Not Included

2008-12-22T03:59:00.000-08:00

Are you:

A.) An Italian detective from the 80s, who drives an MG round the streets of roads of Rome while solving murders that happen in art galleries?

B.) A no-holds-barred PI who lives in Miami and wears his sunglasses at night?

C.) A pimp from a horror film?

D.) Someone who goes to Tech Noir on Friday nights to dance until your piano key tie is soaking, tied round your head?

If you've answered 'yes' to any of the above, Italian instrumental buckaneer GIANNI ROSSI is the man for you. Thumping programmed drums, authentic growly 80s synths and the obligatory rock guitar overdub make Gianni the premier synth-theme writer working in Italy today.

Just listening to his driving, Harold Faltermeyer rhythms makes us want to be better men. Give Gianni all the respect he deserves. What a guy.

Philly

TOP GIFTS FOR A THRASHER THIS EXMAZ

2008-12-18T06:01:00.000-08:00

If you're going out with someone who knows who razor are, or are the brother of an acid reign fan, you have probably exhausted "normal" thrash gifts over the years of begrudged gift-giving. Imagine their sad face when they receive yet another copy of the terminator box set, or "best" of Megadeth CD. Not this year! G-max til' fury St. are here to help.

1 RARE ALBUM.

Thrash metal fans like crap things, and the rarer the crap thing the more class it is. If your intended victim has all the exodus albums already, even the crap ones (as in crap not good) then its time to dig deeper into the vaults and get him (it IS a him) an Atomkraft album. Future warriors is a surefire winner. Only a few thousand were ever printed and the album sounds awful. Bingo!

2 "INSPIRATIONAL" BOOK

All thrash metal fans have dreams of following in their heroes' foot steps, so to write that thrash metal classic they will need inspiration. Best bet is to get down the bargain bins and look for a guy n smith novel (he of Dark Place fame) about rocks coming to life, of ants becoming telekinetic. Another good one is to find a good book on flying saucers from the 70s, as a more modern one will make sense.

3 TOUR T-SHIRT FROM THE 80'S
Having cool tour shirts is a must for thrashers. If you don't have an Unstoppable Force tour shirt, you don't like agent steel. In places like Germany there is bitter rivalry about shirt collections often ending in maddening violence – THAT'S how cool they are. Spending £10 on a 2006 Megadeth tour t-shirt is like spitting on a thrashers face. Getting the 1986 shirt on the right could cost up to $250, so get saving.

4 "GET THRASHED" ON DVD
This movie has been in the making for 4 years and is a thrasher's wet dream. It has it all(well, no john cyriis); Dave mustaine being cocky, Kerry king being a dick and everything you'd expect from a 4 hour look at the history of thrash metal. At around £10 its dead on value too, only problem is you have to hear what Kittie think(!) about thrash. Rad! (ed- Joe gets backhander from film makers).

5 SILVER BULLET BELT
Amazing coolness surrounds those who have them, suicidal yearning engulfs those who want them: silver bullet belts. Everyone knows how cool and must-have bullet belts are for thrashers, its part of the deal. Owning the silver or chrome variant is like putting on the power loader from aliens. Better than normal legs.

Joe

This Man Has Balls

2008-12-11T02:55:00.000-08:00

Check out THIS news story at the Guardian's website. If we had four of these guys for a road crew we could literally kill people at gigs. Plus, fair play, climate change, good on ya, etc.

Philly

Best. Headline. Ever.

2008-12-08T05:37:00.000-08:00

Read THIS.

Philly

The Name's Bond...P Diddy Daddy Puff Bond

2008-12-04T03:48:00.000-08:00

If being rich and famous and popular has a relation to how stupid and vapid someone acts, P Diddy must surely be the most famous man in the world.

It's not enough that the former 'bad boy 4 life' has invented his own cologne (called 'I Am King' and dedicated to Barack Obama - that took a lot of imagination), he's shot his own movie to promote it.

And get this – the movie acts as his 'official audition tape' for the role of James Bond. Diddy has said himself that the movie series needs a change, and this is the perfect time for a black Bond to step in.

He might be right about that, but the idea of anyone letting him take the job is so funny I nearly shit myself when I read it.

The only problem with the movie, which apparently cost nearly a million dollars, is that he doesn't act in it, or kill anyone, or do any stunts, or drink a martini, or anything other than stand around with a vacant expression on his massive toddler face. Amazing.

Check it out at THIS LINK.

My favourite bits:

1 min 32 secs: Diddy, in a white tuxedo, is at the roulette table. He looks around like he's expecting someone to hand him a sandwich. 'Muhhhh'.

2 min 22 secs: Diddy on a motorbike with one of his 'bitches', once again looking like he's smelling a fart.

4 min 4 secs: Diddy stands at a casino table while everyone around him applauds his coolness. It's like the Special Olympics, except he's not an athlete or someone with any skill.

Philly

NIGHTS OF TERROR...RATS NIGHT OF TERROR

2008-11-25T05:55:00.000-08:00

We love shit films. Almost as much as good films. Most of the world's worst (read: BEST) horror films were made in Italy. Some of the really good ones (as in good) are famous, like Zombie Flesh Eaters and Deep Red, others not so much. We're here to change that .

Meet your new mates:

1 The "Monks" from Nights Of Terror
There is no way to describe these lads. Some are skellingtons, others moustache-wielding fatsos. Actually I just described them, so...anyway these lads rule, eating guts and wearing their robes.

2 The "Child" from The Nights Of Terror
As a 32 year old child this young whippersnapper has his work cut out for him. His ma and da are sex-crazed 50 year olds, and he smells death on things like rags and cups. After he becomes a 'molie (read: zombie) he eats his ma's jebs. Luckily you don't know what that means.

Nights Of Terror is fucking awful. Really bad and totally excellent. The zombies blood is green, they use battering rams and have cowls and are thousands of years old. The people are dicks, gong on like idiots and generally tripping, riding and geting ate at the first opportunity; just the way we like it.

1 Lilith from Rats Night of Terror
Ah yes. She hath tits, so she geteth them out. As one of the really futuristic survivors of the nuclear war, Lilith spends her time being confused and having sex: a deadly combo. As you can tell from this pic she meets a "ratty" end, but how did the rat get in?

2 Video from Rats Night of Terror

Video believes he can best any video game in the world (what, even Renegade? -Ed) although he has never playeed or seen a computer until he comes face to face with the "super" computer during this amazing film. He and chocolate survive the rats' onslaught and meet the underground survivors at the film's end. With gnaw-rly results.

An unbelivabley boring film, rats is for strong minds only. Like most Italian horror movies the viewer is rewarded for sitting through the film with a bone-chilling shock ending. We watched this film 10 time during the making of Citizen Brain.

Joe

Legendary: Guy N. Smith

2008-11-24T05:39:00.000-08:00

If you've ever been lucky enough to catch an episode of the British comedy series Darkplace you'll already be familiar with a figure like Guy N. Smith in the form of that show's fictional hero, Garth Marenghi.

Like Smith, Garth's a horror writer, dream weaver and fabulist who churns out paperback books to order, with titles the likes of which you'll never believe.

When I turned 19, Joe posted me some treats from England, where he was living at the time. One of them was a copy of Origin Of The Crabs from 1979. I've just spent an hour laughing at the following jacket designs, and also wondering how one man can have so many amazing ideas in his mortal head.

Philly

Meet Gorse

2008-11-24T03:53:00.000-08:00

We're going to let you in on a little secret. Gorse are one of our favourite bands, and have regularly been on the stereo of our various tour buses, sprinters and splitters over the last few years.

Gorse (whose tracks you can sample HERE) are the best band in the world. They use synthesisers and guitars to tell tales about farmers, pasties and cocktails in their native Cornish countryside. Cornwall is a bit of England by the way, and it's miles away from everywhere.

We discovered Gorse, who released one tiny album on one tiny experimental music label VVVM years ago, by accident.
They made their album, May The Gorse Be With You, in their bedroom: you can even hear them switching on and off the karaoke microphone they used.

Now we can finally go public and recommend them to you. Email VVM and demand another Gorse album, immediately.

Philly

Exploding Toilet

2008-11-18T04:54:00.000-08:00

While THIS man is a shit, he had an amazing plan.

Philly

Bueller...Bueller...Bueller...

2008-11-16T06:26:00.000-08:00

In another movie shoe-related twist, it turns out Nike have made these FERRIS BUELLER SHOES as a tribute to the school-skipping lad himself. While they're not the shoes Ferris wears (he has wee loafers, we think), they're all coloured in to look like his clothes. Pretty class.

Philly

Star Wars Problem

2008-11-12T04:19:00.000-08:00

We all love Star Wars, right? We all recall the thrill of the childhood visit to the toyshop, where we'd pluck a new figure from the peg before shredding the packaging off. Although they may not have had the Lando we so desperately needed, we did get a cool Imperial Guard. Wicked. However, some don't know where the line is.

Check out THIS sad git. Apparently he has a girlfriend. Hope for us all.

Michael J Fox Shock Part III: Ebenezer Brown!?

2008-11-10T05:34:00.000-08:00

Time traveling pal of Marty J McFox himself, Christopher Lloyd, is apparently going to play Scrooge in a new broadway version of A Christmas Carol.

I hope Biff plays Jacob Marley ("change your ways, butthead!"), Mayor Goldie Wilson plays the ghost of christmas past, The Japanese lad who fires Marty as the ghost of christmas present ("You are TERMINATED, Scrooge!") and of course Michael J plays the spooky ghost of christmas future ("here's your grave, daddio. Heavy!"). Class.

Philly

DIY Blowtorch Mishap

2008-11-09T13:51:00.000-08:00

If you need proof that most people are idiots, read THIS and join us up the bell tower tomorrow morning.

A Short History Of Screaming

2008-11-09T12:45:00.000-08:00

Of course your favourite band Gama Bomb have screamy-girly vocals, but did you know there's a whole history of gits screaming like that? BBC Radio 2 are airing THIS show this week, hosted by that Bee Gee who looks like a vulture, about the history of the art form.

This may be the best or worst show ever, but the only way to find out is by tuning in, we suppose...

Philly

Vote Early, Vote Often

2008-11-09T06:01:00.001-08:00

Terrorizer Magazine are launching their 2008 readers' poll, and we'd like you to vote for us. Click HERE to vote us for best newcomer, best band, best album art, or whatever.

Cheers!

Philly

MJF Shock Part II: Marty McFly Trainers

2008-11-07T02:33:00.000-08:00

Nike made THESE trainers last year, to commemorate the brilliance of Back To The Future II. It's a pity, because they don't look McFly enough for my liking, and limited numbers mean they're currently going for about a grand US, which is bollocks.

Come on Nike, put your hoverboard where your mouth is like Reebok, who made THESE killer ice creams, as worn by Ripley in Aliens 2: Return Of The Aliens. Now that's a shoe.

Philly

Funniest News Story Ever

2008-11-07T02:28:00.000-08:00

I nearly died when I read THIS last year. Check it out.

Philly

I Want One Of These

2008-11-06T08:16:00.000-08:00

The class 80s Beat It video t-shirt that is, not the Wacko Jacko.

Philly

Indiana Jones' Jacket

2008-11-06T03:03:00.000-08:00

http://www.ekmpowershop4.com/ekmps/shops/westedcom/raiders-of-lost-ark-jacket-103-p.asp

Priests Get Nasty

2008-11-06T02:59:00.001-08:00

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/italy/3374958/Priest-smashes-chair-over-Italian-restaurant-owners-head-as-nuns-kick-him-in-the-stomach.html

HOT/NOT in thrash 08

2008-11-06T02:57:00.000-08:00

HOT

1. ACE NEW ALBUMS FROM THE NEW WAVE OF UK THRASH!
Cool dudes that they are, AMOK from Scotland, WARPATH from somewhere else and H.O.D from Manchester (?) have all said piss off to labels this year and self-released amazing albums in the last few months. Fair play!

2. OLD BANDS NEW ALBUMS
While loads of old thrash bands we can't name ( again!) because we want to tour with them are releasing crappy non-thrash albums, some have got a grip of them selves and churned out some good thrash this year. TESTAMENT, METAL CHURCH, HELSTAR and to some extent LAZZ ROCKIT can take a bow.

3. PRIEST 'DETH AND THE 'MENT
Winner! Ponder, if you will, why someone would willingly go and see the Unholy Crap Fest instead of this amazing lineup. The weird thing is this tour has already happened! After Painkiller came out in 1990, 'Priest, Deth and the 'Ment toured the U.S. Now they have returned back again to revisit us for the second time again.

NOT

1. GOODBYE JOEY

Having realized they couldn't make a thrash album if they tried, anthrax have enlisted, no not Neil Turban, but some dude who sounds like that loser from Pantera and says "fuck" a lot. Sad times. Fair play to John Bush though, who told them to sling their hook and is back with Armored Saint. Joey "no teeth" and Dan "I make a successful living from watch making", we hardly knew ya!

2. CHRIS WITCHHUNTER R.I.P

Sad times indeed. Anyone who saw the Sodom DVD or heard about his non-show at Waken last year could have told you Chris wasn't in the best health, but dead? Fuck! Chris was an amazing thrash drummer and a total legend, so much so that his mistakes on albums like Persecution Mania are being purposely recreated by young thrash drummers today.

3. MAKE THRASH NOT WAR

It seems theses days that every new thrash band out there is afraid of being associated with he new wave of thrash. thinking they'll go down with the ship. Boo hoo, if you're a thrash band and not from the days of yore you're in there. Tough luck. On the other hand, there's some bands in L.A who admit to being thrash bands, but don't want to be associated with the other L.A bands. Too cool for school me thinks. Come on guys, let's all have a volleyball beach party to straighten this whole thing out.

Joe

M J F G 'N R SHOCKER!

2008-11-06T02:19:00.000-08:00

Guess what? Michael J Fox will be on the new Guns 'n' Roses Tape, Whatever It's Called, on the tune Madagascar.
Last year sly stallone also expressed an interest in working with Guns W Guns Axl (n) Rose(s) on an album, but bizzarely requested a $10.000 dog before agreeing to meet Mr guns.
SO THERE YOU GO!

Joe